Monday, June 16, 2014

My #RealBloggerBeauty

I read about the #RealBloggerBeauty campaign on Amy's blog, Cupcakes and Couture.  I then began to read a lot of the other blogs that linked up for this on Maya's blog, Charmingly Styled.  I love the idea of this and knew this was something I wanted to be a part of.

I often get blog envy when looking through other blogger's amazing blogs and posts.  It's hard not to y'know?  I've only been blogging for a little over a year and I have come to know the stress that comes with taking "perfect" pictures for my posts and making sure I look good when I get ready to film a YouTube video.  Even with the stress that comes with this I still love it.  It is a way to be creative and have fun in a new way.

Obviously life is not always perfect though and I do try to share bits of my life, but I never really delve into things too much.  I try to keep this a light, happy place because when I visit my blog I like to see pretty pictures and light airy chats, but I also know that's not totally me.

I love talking and thinking and learning.  I often find myself in deep conversations with my boyfriend about life and politics and science.  We speak openly all the time and allow ourselves to ponder out loud.  We talk about anything and everything and have open dialogues about tough topics.  I literally love this aspect of my life with him, but it is hard to talk to other people because I come at everything with a very open, but scientific mind and often that's off putting.

I am also anally organized, but also a mess sometimes.  There are times our living room and kitchen look like a disaster area and other times where nothing is out of place.  It all depends.

I have longstanding illnesses that are tough to talk about.  The easy ones are allergies and asthma, the tough ones are anxiety and depression.  I mean actual clinical depression that I take medicine for so that my brain can function normally.  My depression, when it is bad or I forget to take my medicine, makes my head feel so full I could burst.  It is not always feeling sad, but when I feel sad it is crushing.  It is not always feeling antsy, but when it is I feel crazy.  I don't talk about it because there are a lot of stigmas that come with the disease.  I do know that it is something I will always live with.  My brain does not produce enough serotonin to allow me to function when I don't take my medicine.  My depression is not a phase or something that will just go away if I "think happy thoughts", it is something real and I have been dealing with it since I was diagnosed a little over five years ago.

I have an aging cat who sometimes now gets hiccups if you pick her up too fast or if she drinks her water too quickly.  She's getting old and I've never had a pet live this long.  The cats I had when I was younger both died of cancer when they were three and then five.  My cat is like my child and I love her as such.  It scares me that she is getting so old because I cannot imagine my life without her.  She has been with me through everything.   She turns eleven this year in August and I hope she has so many more birthdays that she breaks records.

I am fiercely protective of my family.  I trust easily, but once the trust is broken it is very hard to repair.  

I am very stubborn and like to be in charge of my own life.  If I want something I will do what I need to to achieve my goals.  When I was interested in Jeremy I initiated the relationship, partly because he was (and still can be) so oblivious, but mostly because I was tired of dancing around the topic.  I made the first move and I am glad I did.  I don't wait for anyone to come to me, I take charge.

I sing really loud.  When I am home by myself or in the car I have the volume cranked and I am singing like I'm on a stage (probably not very well).  I also talk too loudly when I get excited.

I sometimes get envious of other people, but when I step back and really look at my life I'm pretty content right now.  With all the small and large problems I work through I'm still happy.

Alright, I think I have talked enough for now.  I hope this helped to get to know me a bit better.  I am always open to talking and getting to know anyone!
Since we got pretty personal I thought I would share with you some things I am seeing today in my apartment.

This is my desk right now.  I just reorganized it last night and I am pretty happy with how it looks.

My old speakers broke so I am borrowing and old pair of Jeremy's and they're too big for my desk so I had to put my monitor up on some books.

This is the view next to my desk.  I have got to get all this put away.

The cat has been hiding under the armchair pretty much all day.

Subscription boxes for June have come in and are waiting to be filmed and photographed.

I still have not fully unpacked out suitcase from my cousin's wedding.  It was two weekends ago.

This cat is solar powered and wags its tail when it is powered up.  We got it at Japan in Epcot.

Make sure if you do this post that you link up!